“What if the coherence of a life is in some significant way a function of culture?” – Matthew Crawford
We live in an age of distractions.
I don’t think I’m stating something that most people haven’t already noticed or pointed out. But, the truth still stands – we live in an age of distractions. Social media, the internet, I’m sure you’ve heard the list before; all these things play into our constant need to have our attention distracted by something. Work, social life, the latest meme – all these contribute to a sense of “missing out”, and a constant need (or so we think) to be connected.
It’s a little ironic, that the tool by which we’re brought into better contact with others can become the same tool that distances us from those around us.
I myself have been guilty of this – checking my phone at the table, or while getting coffee with a friend. Or maybe having your phone on you during a movie, because you might get bored. Yes, I’ve been there as well. But might I dare to posit that such an approach leaves us tired, bored, and feeling perhaps less than fulfilled?
Now I’m not attempting to turn this into a rant on social media, or our technologically-focused culture. Like many things, these things can be good tools to bring us closer, reduce the distance between loved ones, spread ideas, and so on. Buuuut. There’s also quite a few drawbacks, as I’m sure many of us are aware.
By its quick-bite nature, social media prevents us from truly ‘resting’ our minds but instead leads us to jump from one story to the next. Unfortunately, not fostering our ability to rest our minds can become a catalyst in our inability to feel fulfilled in life. On the other hand, allowing our mind to learn how to focus on what’s at hand becomes a foundational habit that easily translates into learning how to rest well. By resting well, we’re better able to foster the habit of leisure, the basis of culture, whereby we cultivate our souls and minds to consider more what is true, good, and beautiful. This leisure can take many forms – for example, I’ve had the chance to cook a lot more lately, and it’s been a great opportunity to experiment in the kitchen while listening to audio books. I’m not worrying about missing out on the latest Facebook post, or the latest stat on how the rest of the world is doing. And guess what – it’s really freeing.
Drawing back from social media has, I think, helped me to cultivate a more quiet and contemplative soul, something that’s important as I embark on graduate studies soon. I think one of the silver linings out of the whole coronavirus pandemic has been a forced retreat from the world for many of us. It’s helped me see how truly precious my time is, and to be honest, how many better ways are out there for me to use it.
Cultivating silence in our lives is something that I think is especially hard in our 21st “connected” century. The problem with our attention-hungry culture is that while we’re constantly connected and in the know for “what’s up”, our minds are being trained to constantly flit from one thing to another. Think of your brain as being constantly hooked up to a virtual state of adrenaline. While this is great for fight or flight situations, we’re not made to exist in a constant state of anguish waiting for the next hammer to drop; and to be honest, it’s draining. I’m reminded of an article from the Wall Street Journal a few years ago that commented on the high-pressure stakes found within restaurant culture in an attempt to address mental illness there. We’re not made to constantly be “on”, to live on a battlefield. No, we’re made to renew, to rebuild, to cultivate and grow. While some of us may be rolling stones, always on the move, I wonder if most of us aren’t instead made for stability, to root ourselves in a place and grow old, just like one of those ancient oaks you might see in a forest.
But how do we shape our life to live this out? I’ve recently been trying to live out both my work and personal life with a little more purpose, utilizing a handy tool called Optimal Work, a time management tool that is aimed to, in their words, “transform anxiety, distraction, and reluctance into meaning, mastery, and focus”. It’s honestly been great, and I’d highly recommend checking them out. But one of the main things that they focus on is removing distractions. Ah yes, the habitual Facebook or Twitter check when we have a pause in the day. What’s going on, what newsflash should we be aware of since this morning? It becomes a nervous tic to itch, and I can tell you, it doesn’t help one feel like you’re living out the most fulfilling day.
Optimal Work utilizes a nifty tool called “Golden Hour”, which is a segment of time (such as an hour) focused on completing one task. The individual completing the task takes a moment before the task to reframe what’s before them, asking how it will positively impact them. What this does is change the brain from fight or flight status into approaching a term known as “flow”, where the brain is firing on all cylinders. Pretty neat, right? But it’s become a great tool for me to use, whether it be laying out my day, my work, even the weekends. This doesn’t mean that I’m living minute to minute, but rather that I’m now living my day with greater focus and purpose on what lies ahead. And it’s fantastic.
Note that this doesn’t mean my day is filled in silence; while that’s important, I’m not a monk. I’ll be honest, I need human interaction – especially after being cooped up in my house all week. So what’s the alternative?
I’d suggest maybe picking up something you can work on with your hands while listening to an audio book; for myself, I’ve turned the extra cooking time into time to devour literature while I hover over the stove or cutting board. Podcasts are great, but there’s something about listening to literature that’s truly wonderful. Maybe it’s a book you read when you were younger and are just revisiting for the first time in a while (Redwall for me!). Or maybe you’ve been yearning to get started on some Jane Austen because you saw the latest Emma flick and feel like you should give Austen a second shot.
The theme for all this is that we need to fill our lives with things that nourish our souls. I’d like to say your “grab bag of beauty”. A little bit much, but bear with me. There’s some things that really make our lives richer, fuller, a little bit more human. Playing board games with friends (not Coup, that destroys friendships), getting out for a hike, taking time to dine together. And when I say take time to dine together, I mean take your time. Not having another thing to run off to after, but instead the understanding is that this is your evening. You’ve blocked off everything else from your social calendar, and your time is at the disposal of your host or guests.
The grab bag of beauty is something you’ll come back to week after week, things that help you to rest, and enrichen your soul. Maybe it’s painting or drawing, or quietly taking a long walk in the early mornings. You know what’s best for you because it’s your grab bag. Creating the grab bag means we’re taking time away from social media, away from the internet. It means that we’re taking time to train our mind to focus on things for a longer period than we might ordinarily be used to, and that this ultimately is good for us.
Is there a great memory you have of either time alone or with friends? If so, think about it – and I don’t just mean something that you look back on a half-heartedly say “that was fun”, but a time that was truly fulfilling. Imagine time spent with family over the holidays, when the only thing you had to worry about was not having multiple siblings out-trade you in Catan. You were, I think, fully present in that moment. And it probably felt amazing, yes?
I only say this because I think you’ll have a much better time when you’re more engrossed in the moment without having to worry about what item is coming up next on the to-do list. If so, you’re not creating time for silence, to still your soul from the distractions around you and focus on what’s truly present.
And it’s so important to focus on what’s in front of us because, well, we’re creatures of the present. Bound by time, we’re always living in the present moment. I won’t make the crack of “we call the time now a present because it’s a gift” for fear of being banished from the next social gathering. But you get my drift. Time is one of the greatest gifts we can give others; so how are you using and giving yours?
Practically, I’ve tried to not hop onto social media before Noon; in today’s climate it’s probably better overall for my blood pressure (and yours too!). But how do we fill this time instead, especially when we’re on break?
One thing I’ve found to help is to structure your day around things you’re “working on” or plan to do for the day. I’m personally not a huge fan of using a planner, but I’ve recently got into using a planner called Monk Manual, which focuses on ninety day cycles split into 30 day segments. I’m barely a month in, but it’s already been great. You plan out and prioritize each month, then each week as they come up, and then each day. By wrapping up each period with a time for reflection, it’s truly been a great way for me to refocus and see not only what things I can work on, but what things truly fuel me.
At the end of the day, what Monk Manual has helped me to do is to live a life more intentionally and a day with more purpose. For instance, when I’m tempted to lose focus on what’s in front of me, knowing that I committed at the beginning of my day to do the thing has often been a good help to push me back in; and guess what – it’s training our minds to become a little less distracted.
So I’ve babbled on a bit about Optimal Work and removing distractions; Monk Manual and structuring your day. But – is this it? Is this the way? Perhaps not fully, but definitely a step in the right direction, I think. I know I can definitely vouch for myself and say that both things have been tremendous tools in helping put things on track. It’s also definitely helpful in crafting a more joyful soul – constant reflection should include some sense of gratitude for the day, and gratitude enables us to not only be more present, but at peace with life, I think.
I quoted Matthew Crawford at the beginning of this essay and I think it’s only fair to close by reflecting shortly on him. Crawford is a professor at the University of Virginia who also considers how our age of distraction can only be “defeated” by going into the “world beyond our head”, that is, to recover our own sense of individuality by physically encountering a created world around us. How we encounter this created world is shaped by how we think we ought to do so; that is, we’re creating a certain kind of culture in how we encounter the world outside our head.
Delving into the world outside our head connects our souls back into the beauty of Creation. It orients and points our souls to rediscover the True, Good, and Beautiful. Being more present in our daily life only comes if we practice calming our souls from a world of distractions. By honing our minds to be more present, we’re honing our self to be engaged in what’s sitting before us because to do so is good for our souls.
Perhaps, as we move into this new week, you and I might consider what things we can pursue more intentionally, small things we can accomplish daily that allow us to withdraw from a world of distractions and to enter back into the Garden.
What’s in your grab bag of beauty?
Passionately loving the world 